None of my poems have meaning

None of my poems have a meaning

Or a steady flow

But i don’t think anything else i do

Does either

 

All of the words that pour from my hands onto the paper or keyboard

Are meaningless in the grand scheme of things

Not necessarily in a bad way

But in a

One day life will be naught and there will be no one left to remember anything that has ever been accomplished

Let alone my poems from my eleventh grade writing class

But thats okay

Because i don’t think it’s the remember or mattering part that’s the point

I think it’s that it makes me feel better

It makes me say what i mean without even knowing what i meant

 

Sometimes i type words backwards

I’m not sure if its because

My thoughts run through my head too fast

Or if i didn’t pay enough attention in 3rd grade

I think both of those answers are pretty accurate

Some people say i’m annoying because i talk too much and about nothing actually important

And i definitely did not pay enough attention in 3rd grade because

I used to be bolder and stick up for myself

Now i just don’t care what people say i guess

 

Sometimes i wonder if other people think about me

As much as i think about them

Do they wonder to themselves what i do with my free time

Do you think they know

That all i really do

Is sit at home

And write about love that

i do not feel

And sadness that maybe

i feel too often

Or maybe they just look at me and move on

Don’t think twice about it

 

I wonder if they knew what i thought about them

If that would change their mind

If they knew that

I pay attention to them alot more than they pay attention to me

If they would want to talk to me

Because they find it interesting that i took a special interest in them

But in reality

They aren’t special

I overthink everything and everyone

It’s kind of a bad habit

If you look relatively interesting

By the end of the week

I will know everything about you

More or less

Not in a creepy way

But not in a not creepy way

 

I wish i had more friends

But i also wish i didn’t have anyone to think about

When i’m about to make a bad decision

People either really like me

Or they want nothing to do with me

I try to be funny

But they want to be serious

I try to be serious

But they are ready to joke around

Nothing i do is right

But some people like that kinda different

My friends are all okay though

They are nice most times

And give as much as they recieve

 

Sometimes i think love is stupid

And sometimes i think it’s the only thing i really want out of life

I can’t tell if it’s a barrier between me and everything i want

Or if it is the answer to the lostness i feel all the time

I think i get scared of commitment because i’ve been let down before

But so have a lot of other people

And they seem to be doing fine

I want to be doing fine

And it seems the only person holding me back is myself

 

I think this poem was supposed to be about a picture

And maybe it is

But It’s also about me

And my friends

And love

And sadness

And 3rd grade

And mean girls

And poems

But it’s okay

It’s creative

And it’s writing

And that’s what class

This poem is for

But it’s also kind of for me

As is everything else i do

 

Jeffersonville High School, 2019